From the Workshop · No. 11
Why Cheap Wooden Toys Are Usually a Bad Idea
The difference between a properly sealed piece and one that will eventually fail, from what we've seen in years in the adult toy industry.
You can find wooden dildos for a fraction of what a properly made one costs. We’ve been in the adult toy industry long enough, as users and as makers, to have seen plenty of them up close. Almost always, the difference is in things you can’t see in a photo.
Where cheap pieces cut corners
- Unknown wood. Soft or open-pored species, or offcuts with hidden cracks and knots.
- Rushed sanding. A few coarse grits, then straight to the finish. The scratches are still there, just glossed over.
- A thin or unsuitable finish. One or two coats of an undocumented varnish or lacquer. Sometimes it’s just oil and wax, which isn’t a seal at all.
- No cure time. Shipped as soon as it’s dry to the touch, often still smelling of solvent.
- No inspection. Pinholes, thin spots at the tip and bare patches under the base go unnoticed.
How they fail
The seal is the only thing between your body and porous wood. When a thin or poorly bonded finish wears, chips or crazes, moisture gets into the wood. The wood swells and shrinks, the finish cracks further, and you’re left with a surface that can’t be reliably cleaned. It often happens slowly enough that you don’t notice it.
Questions to ask any maker (including us)
- What wood is it, and how is the grain oriented?
- What exactly is the finish, and is there documentation for body or food contact?
- How many coats are applied, and how long is it cured before shipping?
- What grit is it sanded to?
A good maker answers all four without hesitating. Ask us about any of our pieces. Our whole process is laid out in How to Make a Wooden Dildo.
