The Best Woods for Wooden Dildos

Not every beautiful board makes a good dildo. Over the years we’ve turned a lot of species, and we’ve narrowed our collection down to five woods we trust completely. Each one is warm to the touch and elegant to look at, and because we turn every piece by hand from its own blank, no two ever share the same grain.

What we look for

• Density. Harder woods resist dents and take a finer polish.
• Stability. The wood shouldn’t move or crack with seasonal humidity, because movement is what breaks a seal.
• A tight grain that sands smooth and seals evenly.

The hardness figures below are published Janka reference values. They vary with where and how the tree grew, so treat them as a guide, not a spec.

Walnut (~1,010 lbf)

Walnut is the wood we’d recommend to anyone learning to turn. It cuts cleanly, sands beautifully and barely moves once it’s dry. Under a gloss finish its chocolate tones and natural figure really come alive. It’s the wood behind our everyday classic, the Arc.

Hard maple (~1,450 lbf)

Pale, even and tight-grained, with almost no visible pores. In our experience it’s one of the easiest woods to seal flawlessly, which is exactly why we chose it for our beginner-friendly design, the Dawn.

Padauk (~1,700–1,900 lbf)

Freshly cut padauk is a startling orange-red that deepens to a warm crimson over time. It’s hard, stable and turns well. We wear a respirator religiously when sanding it, because the dust is a known irritant. Once it’s sealed, it’s what gives the Ember its colour.

Olive (~2,700 lbf)

Very dense and naturally oily, with wild swirling grain. Olive is stunning, but it’s also the wood that has taught us the most patience: it loves to crack as it dries, so we’re extremely picky about stock. We wrote a whole piece on it: Olive Wood: Beauty and Challenges.

Ebony (~3,000+ lbf)

One of the densest woods in the world. It polishes to a near-mirror and feels substantial in the hand. It’s also scarce, slow to work and expensive, which is why the Nocturne sits at the top of our range.

What we don’t use

We don’t use soft or open-pored woods (pine, oak, ash), anything spalted or soft and punky, or any blank with knots, cracks or unstable figure running through the shaft.